1) It's been a heavy weekend for me. My life is pushing forward in a direction that makes me more encouraged than I have felt in a while.
2) I've made some promises to myself and God since the summer.
- I'll spend more time with him in the morning in his Word and with some prayer.
- I have asked for more accountability in my life.
- I have made a vow to God that I won't share just yet (this will be a future blog)
- I want to spend more time with my friends and be a blessing to them because they've been a blessing to me.
3) Life has been good to me. I've realized after this weekend that it's been too good. I need to share with others how God has been good to me.
4) One prayer request I have is that I won't be so lazy.
5) I am working on my finances because it's time to fix this part of my life (not just about spending but what I'm actually doing with this money) so if I don't go out as much, this is why.
6) I need a roommate if possible.
7) I really love Pandora. Especially the Chris Tomlin channel....
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
The Egg and the Onion
A hard shell and a gooey inside. A bunch of layers that can be peeled. That pretty much describes me.
I think I have a tough exterior or at least one that doesn't let much in. I can exude jerk real well but once you crack me open, I am as sensitive as they come. I think because of this I have many different layers that people aren't sure about. I think people have gotten to know me as being diverse and different. Here are some examples -
- Even though I listen to all times of music ranging from Metallica to Gipsy Kings to the Roots and maybe even Jay-Z from time to time, you won't ever catch me admitting this very much but I kind of like Celine Dion and Sarah McLaughlin because I like to sing and they have a great voices....
- I love to go to the karaoke. I think I have a decent voice. If I have to say I have a regret, it would be that I never pursued more singing opportunities. My song choices can be a little too ballady though...I love the slow R&B melodies.
- I tell people I despise girly films but the big reason I won't watch them is I'm a sensitive sucker. I won't ever watch the Notebook or similar type films is because I'm afraid I'll cry like a little girl if I watch it...I like comedies because I love to laugh...
- ...but many people tell me that I give off of a look of being stoic and calm. No laughing or smiling but I really like to be playful. I love to joke around but I'm not sure how to smile sometimes. I think I smile but sometimes when I look in the mirror, I look normal. I envy people who can smile at anything but those are also the people I want to be around the most. They give me inspiration to change.
- I love sports, but I don't cheer for teams that are great or front-runners except for the Atlanta teams. I like Fulham which is a small soccer team in London...not ManU, Man City, Arsenal, Chelsea or Liverpool. I can't stand the Yankees, Cowboys, or Lakers. All of them have the most annoying fans in their sports.
- I love comic books but I don't read the stories of the most popular comic book characters. I read a comic called the Thunderbolts, which is about a team of former villains turned superheroes, because I love the story of redemption that these heroes are trying to turn their lives around. I hate your stock "I'm so great" superheroes. Captain America bores me.
- I love to observe people. I'm not a creeper but I love to see little children interact with their parents. If it's really cute, you might see me shed a tear because it seems so natural and beautiful. That being said, if you want to make me cry in the movies, show me a little child getting hurt or losing their parents. I promise you I will not be able to hold my emotions in check. Babies are sure to make me look like a fool and I'm more than okay with that.
- I love my job but there are stories and scenes that make me want to go to the restroom and just cry my eyes out and no one has insulted me or made me feel bad. I just see lives being affected so badly at times that I have to pray to God for healing in their lives but that it makes me cry to see these lives so affected that way. It makes me realize how good I have it but it hurts my heart to hear and see these stories from students. For stories of redemption from my graduated students, those make me feel good and sometimes emotional as well especially thinking about how much they've gone through.
- A beautiful speech, story or quote will leave me inspired even if my face doesn't show it. I might look bored but inside, I really am inspired and thinking how it will affect my day.
- I say sorry way too much. I'll apologize for apologizing too much and I'm better than I used to be. I'm sorry for even admitting this.
- I think I have a sense of humor but many times I fall flat on my face and that has affected my confidence. I'd rather stay quiet so that people won't laugh at what I have to say. Being quiet is safe. Trying to be funny can be cold and lonely at times. I've become more confident over the past few years.
- I used to be deathly afraid of public speaking yet I became a teacher. Growing up I had a mumbling disorder so I'd be embarrassed to speak. I had to do speech therapy in elementary school. I'm very sensitive about mumbling because it comes back when I'm nervous. I will not look you in the eye if I'm nervous...the ground is my favorite place to look at while I'm talking. I will say teaching has changed me and I'm more confident. I even coach students on how to give speeches and they've won awards at competitions. It's amazing what a little confidence can do for you.
I have more areas I can talk about but I don't want to bore you all to death (smirk). I think I've already given away my man card with some of these stories so no worries there. None of this has helped me to get a girlfriend before so it's not a big deal there. This is just therapeutic for me so I enjoy letting it all out on the keyboard. I hope you've enjoyed these tidbits about me (and yes, you can use these against me in the future....)
I think I have a tough exterior or at least one that doesn't let much in. I can exude jerk real well but once you crack me open, I am as sensitive as they come. I think because of this I have many different layers that people aren't sure about. I think people have gotten to know me as being diverse and different. Here are some examples -
- Even though I listen to all times of music ranging from Metallica to Gipsy Kings to the Roots and maybe even Jay-Z from time to time, you won't ever catch me admitting this very much but I kind of like Celine Dion and Sarah McLaughlin because I like to sing and they have a great voices....
- I love to go to the karaoke. I think I have a decent voice. If I have to say I have a regret, it would be that I never pursued more singing opportunities. My song choices can be a little too ballady though...I love the slow R&B melodies.
- I tell people I despise girly films but the big reason I won't watch them is I'm a sensitive sucker. I won't ever watch the Notebook or similar type films is because I'm afraid I'll cry like a little girl if I watch it...I like comedies because I love to laugh...
- ...but many people tell me that I give off of a look of being stoic and calm. No laughing or smiling but I really like to be playful. I love to joke around but I'm not sure how to smile sometimes. I think I smile but sometimes when I look in the mirror, I look normal. I envy people who can smile at anything but those are also the people I want to be around the most. They give me inspiration to change.
- I love sports, but I don't cheer for teams that are great or front-runners except for the Atlanta teams. I like Fulham which is a small soccer team in London...not ManU, Man City, Arsenal, Chelsea or Liverpool. I can't stand the Yankees, Cowboys, or Lakers. All of them have the most annoying fans in their sports.
- I love comic books but I don't read the stories of the most popular comic book characters. I read a comic called the Thunderbolts, which is about a team of former villains turned superheroes, because I love the story of redemption that these heroes are trying to turn their lives around. I hate your stock "I'm so great" superheroes. Captain America bores me.
- I love to observe people. I'm not a creeper but I love to see little children interact with their parents. If it's really cute, you might see me shed a tear because it seems so natural and beautiful. That being said, if you want to make me cry in the movies, show me a little child getting hurt or losing their parents. I promise you I will not be able to hold my emotions in check. Babies are sure to make me look like a fool and I'm more than okay with that.
- I love my job but there are stories and scenes that make me want to go to the restroom and just cry my eyes out and no one has insulted me or made me feel bad. I just see lives being affected so badly at times that I have to pray to God for healing in their lives but that it makes me cry to see these lives so affected that way. It makes me realize how good I have it but it hurts my heart to hear and see these stories from students. For stories of redemption from my graduated students, those make me feel good and sometimes emotional as well especially thinking about how much they've gone through.
- A beautiful speech, story or quote will leave me inspired even if my face doesn't show it. I might look bored but inside, I really am inspired and thinking how it will affect my day.
- I say sorry way too much. I'll apologize for apologizing too much and I'm better than I used to be. I'm sorry for even admitting this.
- I think I have a sense of humor but many times I fall flat on my face and that has affected my confidence. I'd rather stay quiet so that people won't laugh at what I have to say. Being quiet is safe. Trying to be funny can be cold and lonely at times. I've become more confident over the past few years.
- I used to be deathly afraid of public speaking yet I became a teacher. Growing up I had a mumbling disorder so I'd be embarrassed to speak. I had to do speech therapy in elementary school. I'm very sensitive about mumbling because it comes back when I'm nervous. I will not look you in the eye if I'm nervous...the ground is my favorite place to look at while I'm talking. I will say teaching has changed me and I'm more confident. I even coach students on how to give speeches and they've won awards at competitions. It's amazing what a little confidence can do for you.
I have more areas I can talk about but I don't want to bore you all to death (smirk). I think I've already given away my man card with some of these stories so no worries there. None of this has helped me to get a girlfriend before so it's not a big deal there. This is just therapeutic for me so I enjoy letting it all out on the keyboard. I hope you've enjoyed these tidbits about me (and yes, you can use these against me in the future....)
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