The art of teaching

I'm going to go another route and not be so general but talk about an activity I think about all the time except in the summertime...my job.

I am a teacher.  I love the interactions I have with the students - seeing them learn, hearing about their dreams, having students come back and tell about their pursuits and really trying to get them to think about their futures in general.  I enjoy my extracurricular activities as an academic coach.  I enjoyed (and even miss a tiny bit) coaching athletics as well.  It's the getting to know your students and athletes that made the day go by so much smoother.  Summer breaks don't hurt either....

The amount of work is tough though.  I really struggle with how much to put into my teaching.  I probably put as much work in 190 days of work as a regular worker does in a whole year.  I struggle with lessons I teach - too boring one day, too much talking another, not enough assessing of a student's knowledge with the next lesson or some other issue (like the once a year Holocaust lesson that numbs and depresses me to no end).  Grading work is painful and is my least favorite part of this job.  I don't get it back to my students soon enough. This is my 6th year on the job and I still feel like a newbie or maybe I'm just a perfectionist (which I would never recommend as a teacher...then you would never leave for home which I did as a 1st year teacher - regular time at home was 10 pm my first year - I was a mess).

There are 19 days of school left...the light is at the end of the tunnel and it's all downhill from here.

I am a nerd and I love it.

It's taken me a while in my life to figure out that I am a nerd.  I knew it in HS and in college then I tried to become "cool" but I could never pull it off.  I stayed in denial about being a nerd for about 8-9 years.  The last few years have changed me to understand that being a nerd is great.  I have so many random facts and a great memory for such unimportant items.  It makes me sad that I didn't accept this fact earlier. 

Here are some reasons for why I am a nerd.

- I have the nerdiest text notifications - Bazinga!, Chewbacca's roar, a Star Wars lightsaber opening up, the Old Spice whistle, Mr. T's "I pity the fool" and Fozzie the Bear's "Waka Waka", Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompa song...okay, they are just lame and nerdy.

- I study Wikipedia like it's nobody's business.  Random link after random link for the next nugget of information.

- I love history and learning new information about it - I like to know who ruled what and when and where.  I like to learn the most obscure facts.

- I am developing a snort to go with my laugh...I have no clue that I had it but it's showing up.

- I love trivia and I love answering questions.  It's the only thing I know I'm really really good at.

- I dress in a kinda nerdy trendy way (minus the pocket protector).

- I love sports but I like to know stats like WHIP, +/- for NBA & NHL, HBPs (for some weird reason), Net Punt Averages, MPHs for any type of racing, points scenarios for all leagues, 4-4-2, 4-3-2-1 or 4-4-1-1 formations.

- I make spreadsheets and enjoying doing that from time to time for things like my budget and test score averages at school.  Then I'll make a statistical analysis....

- I like movies too but I'll look at IMDB for actors and actresses just to see who they might have acted with in the past and looking at biographies...Wikipedia works well for that too.

- I used to collect comic books.  I still have a couple hundred of them.  My favorite group is the Thunderbolts...not X-Men, not Avengers, not Justice League.  I just like the underdog and a good story better.

- I love Transformers and G.I.Joe growing up.  I collected figures and I still have quite a few Transformer figures.  I still many of the characters and their background stories.

It may never get me a girlfriend, but I accept and embrace that I am a nerd.  If you'd like to share any nerdy tendencies I have, please do.  I won't be offended.  I know who I am and I'm more than okay with it.

-CP

Lessons that keep on needing to be learned

Sometimes when I come to write on this blog, I have no clue what I'm going to write specifically on or I have a clue and I go on some tangent.  Other times, I feel like I have a topic on point then I have no depth.  Others, I just go stream of consciousness because I have too much on mind.

Today, I have too much on my mind but I'm not sure how I want to state it or how deeply I want to state.

Sometimes, I ask myself and God many, many questions.  To me, they are scary questions pertaining to my present and future life.  Many times, God tells me to stop trying to do everything myself and to just follow him.

I'm such a stubborn fellow that God's explanation does not compute until I've learned a lesson.  This week, I learned (yet again) that God wants us to rest and have a relaxed, friendly manner instead of being so busy or acting like we are so busy to other people like friends.  Example - I'm behind on a work schedule and voila, he provides an extension when I thought there was none.  He will provide and yet I can be the doubting Thomas, the Israelite in the wilderness, or Lot trying to save Sodom and Gomorrah all in one.

Giving it all up to God is what I struggle with.  I want to stop struggling with self-induced stress so I need to let go and let God.  I do not have control of any situation.  God has full control.  He's the captain and I've got to be a willing crew member of his battleship.

Jesus, take the helm of this ship.  Let me be guided by you and no one else.  I need not be exhausted any more because you say in Matthew 11:28-30 - “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  I need you and nothing else.

The more things change, they continue to change

The saying goes the more things change, the more they stay the same.  In my life, this what I don't hope for.

I pray for change to change me for good instead of making me the same.  The only thing I want to stay the same is God and that my love will continue to grow.  I've learned a lot more about loving your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39 - paraphrase) as well as loving the Lord my God will all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind (Matthew 22:37 - paraphrase)...it's a theme I've heard throughout the year and has become a theme of how I am changing....

This year has been a lot of sharing of issues in my life that have been demons but not just in a way that helps me temporarily.  I have been given freedom from addiction in ways that have forced me to change in a good way.  I have accountability for the first time and something I've yearned for.  I have older brothers who are looking out for me as I've shared my deepest, darkest and most shameful secrets and they show no judging but only encouragement in accountability.  All I know is that I want this change to continue in my life.  I don't want things to stay the same going forward from fasting, praying, retreats, discipline, dedication to a group of people and worship...God's just blessed my life remarkably. 

An example of this blessing is that I've started a list of prayers for all my brothers and sisters at church, for work and for my family.  I'm not a prayer warrior by any means but writing these "requests" down is something that keeps me dedicated to prayer because I too easily find excuses not to pray.  I just look for things to pray for based on the conversations I have or just observations of people's lives.  Prayers have been answered left and right so I know that something good is happening for them and it gives me more motivation to keep praying for people.  I want to love my neighbor more because many times I have been a wretched neighbor who could care less about people including those nearby me...God has been thawing my heart. 

I've been blessed mightily this year and have seen it blossom out into others.  I pray this continues.