What does everyone say bonds us all together? Wait, wait...there's an easy answer, right? I say it's God and Jesus Christ through his creation. My non-Christian friends may say friendship and other ways they've gotten to know one another. The reason I get into this subject of bonds is because...well, I've been thinking about bonds between my groups of friends.
I've got different groups of friends. I've got my work friends. I've got my school friends. I've got my friends who cheer for the same soccer/football team. I've got my friends from a summer camp I worked in the Northeast for two summers. I've got my church friends. They all have different dynamics.
What's so funny is that I would do anything for these friends based on these bonds. My experiences at the summer camp with trips all over the NE with my friends have cemented a great friendship where we can visit each other in different towns and countries. My friends at school will share laughs about our job and we'll go out and hang with each other in town. My friends from the pub share a passion for our English soccer team and we'll openly cheer for each others accomplishments and yet we barely know each other. When a school friend comes in town, we'll drop everything to hang out with them. Church friends are great too as we'll hang out at coffee shops, restaurants, and go out on the town. Sometimes in the church, though, I feel some of us get the short shrift of the friendship and when I compare this to other friendships, these friendships can seem lacking in the sincerity, passion, and fire that non-church friendships have.
This post is not intended to offend or make anyone feel bad but I do feel we (myself included) need to do a better job. Maybe there are those whose heart is set for those new to the church and making friends with them. Maybe I feel we're just too focused on the activities/duties at church, getting invited to a party with church friends or our pool of close friends to invite others in or maybe we're just too big. Whatever it is, I urge that we look more outwardly towards others. Don't get me wrong because I'm as guilty as everyone else. I realize that we can't have tons of friends to keep up with but there's a reason people come to our church - it's not just to seek God but to feel God and his acceptance and that comes with the church and its people accepting all who come in.
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perhaps people in church feel as though they're obliged to be in relationship with one another whereas outside the church, relationships are formed based on genuine volition. for example: if there's someone you don't really get along with or don't share common interests or experiences with outside church, you don't have to be their friend but inside the church, maybe one would be obliged to "force" a friendship because of common faith and not necessarily because of the things that make a friendship "easy".
ReplyDeletei agree though that people come into the church to find acceptance and community with others and it is sad that many times, people feel more ostracized at church than outside it. it shouldn't be that way. but nor should the relationships within the church be superficial or forced just because we believe the same thing. it should be genuine.
Should we have to feel obliged to be in relationships/friendships in the church? Shouldn't we genuinely care about others? Being a Christian is not supposed to be easy and loving those who have nothing in common with you is not supposed to be easy. We are not Jesus but look at his life. Nothing he did to make friends was easy (the prostitutes, beggars, the Samaritan at the well, tax collectors). Maybe I just feel we're too satisfied in our inner circles and maybe everyone's perspectives are different.
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, I agree that friendships can't be forced because we aren't perfect, but I think if we truly look towards Jesus we will be genuine.