All my life I have been shy. IMO, this trait in girls is cute and maybe even attractive to some males. For guys or maybe in my case, this has been a hindrance and pretty wimpy. I'd love to be blunt and speak what's on my mind but I have a block in my head because I don't want to be rude or inconsiderate but I think it mostly has to do with the fact I am insecure. I don't want to say the wrong words so I'll stumble over words. I'll be on the road an hour after meeting you and replaying the conversation in my mind with new questions that pop up in my head making a new conversation with an imaginary version of you. (No, I don't need crazy pills.)
Growing up, I'd rather be holed up in a room reading or watching TV. I am trying to make up for lost time but I struggle in talking to anyone. If you get to know me, I am not shy but I suck at being personable and comfortable around people. This might be a surprise since you know I'm a teacher but it's a struggle to talk to people for me. My fear of public speaking hindered me but teaching for years has helped me quite a bit. I even coach students in the art of speeches. Super ironic but I find kids more interesting to talk to at times...not that you are a bore, I think....
Anyways, in my mind, I'd like to get to know you so in an ideal world, I'll put my hand out and say hello and give you a smile. The reality is that I suck at this with my awkward smile and half-butt hand waves but I'm working on it. If I'm quiet, I've run out of things to say because I'm nervous or just don't know what to say to you like I've got meeting people's block. I'm a work in progress but no excuses because I will work on my shyness...and be more confident in myself because I'm realizing more and more that I hate being by myself and that I like hanging around people so say hi to me and hopefully what I always imagine will become reality.
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wow chris, i'm learning a lot about you by reading your blog. i never would've thought you were shy. it seems you always have something interesting to say. keep it up bro. i have a theory that to some degree, people outgrow their shyness. maybe not fully, but significantly.
ReplyDeleteI really have to think hard to say interesting comments. If I had not become a teacher, I'd be pretty close the degree of shyness that I had growing up.
ReplyDeleteNow I try to be funny but that falls pretty flat. Kids laugh at me more than adults seem to do. It's all good. I'm comfortable with who I am now.