I Am A Work in Progress

Today was an interesting prayer meeting at church.  We heard stories from people and I love hearing stories from people I admire and respect.  I want to share what I've been going through and how it's affected me recently.  My life has been a spiritual roller coaster for the last 15-20 years.  I'm getting tired of going up and down so I'm trying to change this.  My story starts like this....

So I've been back at my old church for about one year (really 11 months).  It's been a catalyst for change.  They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks...well, I'm not a dog and I've learned plenty.


1) I've learned to be more positive.  It's also been a gradual process.  When you're around people that are almost always in a good mood, you're whole demeanor changes.  It's nice to smile everyone so often instead of showing no emotion.  I can't look like the Terminator all the time.  I do still kind of have an evil laugh though....

2) I've learned to give AND receive joyfully.  We EITHER love to give or love to receive but not both.  I've learned to love to do both and not be selfish with the giving or feel guilty about the receiving.  Give because I want to bless someone and receive because I'm so thankful for it.  Thank you Jesus!

3) I'm learning what to shut off and turn on in life.  I'm trying to spend less.  I've cut my cable and spending in certain areas.  I've also taken a vow to shut down a certain area of my life that turned into a HUGE distraction.  I made a promise/vow to God for ONE WHOLE YEAR that if I shut down this one area of life then I'd concentrate more on him...it's working but it's so hard because I've been looking for this my whole life but I promised God I'd hold off on this area for one year...to be honest, I've got mixed feelings on the vow but I know God will get me through this.  I'm 71 days into this vow...and it feels like an eternity but I cannot argue with God and his results so far.  Ask me privately if you are curious about what I promised to give up.


4) I'm learning to wake up to God and his Word.  When I get up in the early morning (5 AM...ugh), I go straight to my phone and dive into the Word on the weekdays.  Still working on that during the weekends but it's been straight up motivation before I go to work.

5) I'm trying to serve more.  It's actually been a pleasure to do prayer breakfast for the homeless, see families be blessed by God during home visits and talk to refugees come into the country with hope for a new life.  I've only been regular with the first activity but I'd like to continue to serve more.  As a residual effect, it just feels good to serve...it's affected me more than I thought it would.

6) I'm trying to hang out with more people and be sociable.  I hope I can be a blessing in people's lives.  In the past and even a little bit in the present, I've felt more like a parasite with a few people.  Yes, I did say a parasite but I think with most people these days, I feel I can hang out with them be comfortable.  I am an introvert so it's hard for me to get comfortable.

7) I'm trying to let these changes affect me in the workplace.  I believe this is the hardest part for me because work has been my rock the last 6 years not church or community (I was in the wilderness tending for myself for 5 years before I came back to my old church).  I think this is the last hurdle I have to clear.  I work myself so hard that I might not enjoy my job at times while at other times, my job can become my be all, end all.  I'm trying to change this.  I want this positive blessing to come into my job because I think it will motivate me to become a better teacher and person at work.  There's more to this.  I think I'll write a blog about my job soon enough.

So my life is still a work in progress but I will say this year in my life has been the most progressive in a while.  Be blessed...talk to you all later.