Well, I found a picture that my Camp Taconic friend Steve de Eyre sent me a few years ago. The people that are tagged are the ones who remember me going on this show. I thought I might tell a story to you about that day in 2005.
The picture was from my infamous time on the gameshow "Stump the Schwab". You know how you are supposed to get your 15 minutes of fame. Well, I got 7.5 minutes of it from that gameshow. I got to meet Stuart Scott and give him an exploding fist pound then watch as he made fun of me in front of everyone. I didn't do well and was knocked out after the 1st round. Yeah, I sucked when I finally got on the show (after flying up to NYC to go through the audition process and challenging the Schwab [Howie Schwab, ESPN's statistician and Sportscenter's "Did You Know" guy] then coming back to NYC two weeks later to get pounded by my opponents).
Anyways, the real story is not me being on there but what I was wearing. I asked my mom for a tie. Well, I trust my mom because she is a seamstress and I think she has pretty good fashion sense. She gave me a brand new tie that I liked (colors were pleasant to the eye) but I didn't look close enough. I put the tie in the garment bag to go along with my suit.
I go to NJ and get into my friend Sungmin's place and stay there for the second time that month. After a good night's rest, I take the bus from NJ to Port Authority in NYC while lugging around this garment bag. I get on the subway for a bit then walk down to the studio in the Chelsea area of NYC near FIT. I walk in and wait a while then we go into detail (yada, yada, legal mumbo jumbo, how much money you could win - $10K, and finally get to the wardrobe check...).
Yes, wardrobe check...they have to see how our suits look on camera to see if the clothes shine too brightly on stage. You really can't see the audience well much less Stuart Scott asking you questions. Anyways, I'm putting on my suit and I open the package the tie is in (yes, brand new) and I look on the back. The word "Pfizer" jumps out...and I'm thinking this is interesting so I take a closer look at the actual tie....
Um...so yeah, my tie has little Viagra pills on it. Great, so my mom got a free tie from one of her customers who happened to work for Pfizer. I'm groaning over the fact I'm advertising "erectile dysfunction" on my neck and the producers and other contestants wonder what's wrong. We all get a good laugh (and my nervous laugh as I don't have another tie to use). The producers say that you can't really tell so it looks okay. After getting some makeup done (and 12 layers of foundation caked on my face and black goo to go over a bald spot I have on the side of my head), I go and perform poorly (unlike the promises Pfizer gives to its customers about Viagra). After the show, I take the tie and suit off and watch the next show to get taped (and watch someone win $10K by stumping the Schwab) then lug the garment bag back to Port Authority and back to NJ.
To this day, I've told this story once outside of my mother who, of course, laughed it off (edit: twice now). And also to this day, I've never worn the tie to any other function but it still hangs limply in my closet (edit: and I still haven't worn it but still have it). And as Paul Harvey says, that is the rest of the story....
(The culprit is around my neck in this picture...and I have VHS of my horrible performance)
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